Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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