This girl is more easily done than said...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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