is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
