You made me cry and you don't even care
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
