i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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