I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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