My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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