just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
