so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
