I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
