I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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