You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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