my soul wont recognize me after tonight
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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