I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
