I will die if light touches me.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
