They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
