Are we in a gay sports bar?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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