I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
