Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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