I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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