Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
