Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
