You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
