Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
