is wine microwaveable?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
