Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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