I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
