"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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