i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
