For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
