we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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