i just google imaged poop.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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