My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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