I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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