a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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