they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
