lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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