i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm determined to sit on that face.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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