im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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