I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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