i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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