Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
