Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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