he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You have to summon your inner elephant
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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