I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
