i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
