Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
