your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
