we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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