If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Randomize
